Why is dating so hard. It should be easy. A text here and a smile there. But nope. I am an introvert…. obviously but I am also a bit of a loner. I am comfortable being by myself. I enjoy my alone time. And with that comes the need to be independent. Fiercely independent. Then suddenly you are texting someone all the time and they want to see you. Like what is this strange new world that I have just been dropped into? And how do I get out?
I am an independent introverted loner. And I am slowly becoming okay with that. I know what to expect and there is no need to depend on anyone else but myself. Then enter the guy (or girl. Whatever your preference) He is cute, charming and outgoing. Everything you aren’t. And you think this might work…. if I can get through the raging anxiety of the unknown and being hurt. But then anxiety slowly starts to pick apart the relationship, you or even turns on the innocent guy. Then what? Do you ghost them? Do you hope for the best? Or just call it quits and become a cat lady, well I would be a dog lady but the point reminds.
I am a big advocate for talking about mental health and ending the stigma. I talk about it when people ask me but I don’t go seeking them out. They seem to find me. Just different people from some of my best friends to people I have just met. They all seem to just spill everything that is on their mind out to me. Which I am completely okay with and think it is good to have someone to talk to about everything. Even if you aren’t looking for a solution. Yet where is the line where I have to take a step back and be like ‘whoa okay. I need to take a second’. Where do I maybe to say that I can’t be that person anymore because I need to look after myself and my mental health too. I want to help people but when I am barely keeping my head above water and then I take on this? It’s like adding weights to my ankles. I know I shouldn’t be taking it on but I just feel everything.
I just don’t know where to draw the line.
I don’t know when to say that I can only handle so much.