First While

I never thought I was different until I just entered high school and I told my best friend at the time something small that I was anxious about. I don’t even remember what it was. But she gave me the weirdest look. “Like are you crazy” kind of look. So then I realized that not everyone thought the same way I did. And not in a good way. Most people didn’t worry about what people thought of their clothes or hair or what they said 20 minutes ago to the point they didn’t want to go to school. So I just didn’t talk about it. I just bottled it up… probably not a good idea in hindsight. Yet it wasn’t till that next year when I spoke about to again but to my mom. I couldn’t sit still so she asked me what my problem was. And I just blurted out what I was anxious about at the time. She also gave me a strange look so I panicked and told her to forget about it. But she didn’t because well she is my mom. She would just talk things out with me, gave me the rational reasons when my brain was taken over by the irrational reasoning of anxiety. It helped for a bit, she didn’t make me go to therapy until I had a huge panic attack. But I didn’t want to go to therapy cause then there was something wrong with me. I, like everyone else, didn’t want there to be something wrong with me. But I still went cause at times I thought I was crazy. Therapy did help, it helped so much. My therapist at the time asked if this was how I was feeling and she described exactly how I was feeling. Once she told me that it was completely normal for people who have anxiety to feel that way, I felt a lot better and that maybe I could handle my anxiety.
Don’t be afraid to get help. It will do you so much good. And know that you are not alone.

 

 

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